Feline

It was the time Feline ended crawling on fours and began walking on two – such a joyous thing to do is the do nots.

You do only those and do not these!
I will do this, this, and that, Mr. Ask Me.
No one ever should fall is one maxim and learn from others’ err is another, Little Feline.
I should nevver fall...I should nevvvver fall...fahhah...hahhah. Never will. And I will learn from others’ err...erhheh...hehheh. I will.

As ages passed by like fireflies Feline defying gravity grew one fiber and one thought at a time.
My Tender Mom closed her eyes, I was told, as I opened mine. I mourned only a moment when my Old Man died on me. It’s nature?...it’s original sin? I don’t know and care.
I never will and I will.
I sing a hearty song and guffaw, Nightingale, sing back to me.
I wink a warm gesture, where’s my Young Man, come to me.
I sing and won’t sink.
I wink and won’t...
Blast my!... Is it you, Ilene? Broken, crawling on the ground, beat and shite!
Pity me, Feli! I tripped over the Love Stairs, fell, and broke my only Heart.
I never will and I will. Off I must go.
I am a winker and not a wanker.
I am a singer and not...
Kris on a!... Isn’t it Feller? Pinned, lifted on a tree, bleeding and pissing.
Do me in, Lene! My brother stole my farm and made me its scarecrow.
I never will and I will. Off I must take.
I sing and I swing.
I wink and...
Gracious bloody me! I must be a ghost if it ain’t Fiery, reductional glow and all. Weren’t you going to jump off the cliff or something?
You mustn’t be one, Feline. I was, but...the claws weren’t, as I thought, deep enough into the flesh. The clutch wasn’t, as I thought, strong enough on the heart. I took days’, weeks’, months’, years’, I do not remember, worth of deep breath and let it all out far and screaming.
I wink and I wing.
I sing and I... (dash and crash)
I am falling off the Cliff off Innocence, mind you, accidentally. From what I can see I won’t lie to you it’s a pretty sight down there. But then, no one told me this, I unwillingly gathered passing by that the greater the fall the greater the rise. It is maybe a lie. If it isn’t one, even if it’s half-truth, I will come around sometime and sing and swing. Now, I fall and I...

There is no knowing how long and deep a fall it was only that one growth occurs defying gravity another succumbing to it, but again both are more or less short-lived.

Not far away from where you are, a teeny kiddo named Falen learned a trick that if he lifted one leg and put it on where it isn’t to be put it’s fun.
You do only these and do not those!
I will do that, that, and this, Ms. Ask Me.

5 comments:

srapri October 26, 2009 at 11:17 PM  

On a first and second read, I like the contradictions you bring together in your sentences and in thought. Have to and will read it again though :)

Ahimaaz October 27, 2009 at 10:27 AM  

Thank you. Is it a good or bad thing to demand repeated reading?

Neeraj October 27, 2009 at 11:28 AM  

I am not sure whether it is good or bad to demand repeated reading, but for me i needed it. Although, what I really liked about your post, is the fact that with every reading you tend to walk towards the intention of the piece, delving and finding deeper nuances and meanings hidden in the lines. Though, its difficult to say whether you walking on the same path as the author. Hey, but then again, whats the fun in treading a directed path?

Age and experiences are a tricky thing and history does repeat itself. :)

srapri October 27, 2009 at 10:52 PM  

@Ahimaaz

If it is poetry or short stories you are talking about, something that demands repeated reading is welcome. Texts that actively seek engagement and interpretation rather than passive consumption are interesting, to say the least, and that of course is an inadequate paraphrasing of jouissance. :)

Ahimaaz October 29, 2009 at 9:48 AM  

Thank you, Neeraj. Very true there’s no fun in treading a directed path and I for one would when I could back and forth it inches away every time.

Sounds like eternal recurrence :)

Srav, I would like to believe literary jouissance (:I looked the word up:) is best kept alive when it’s quid pro quo, which is what it is between a text and a reader; I mean, to put it more broadly, when a reader becomes a writer and can do it, importantly, if I may, unintentionally. Sadly it’s not every reader’s cup of tea but then... Furthermore, there are novels that are actively engaging and demand walking back of reading mind’s legs, if not in its entirety parts of it.

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