The Cons of Playing a Devil's Advocate

In the heart of Topsy-Turvydom, Right for all the right and wrong reasons was reared by his liberal mother and liberal father (he lied about being that) up until eight being taught the yays and the nays (they disagreed on the contrasts) but taught himself then on through the underground periodicals that he hid under his bed (both agreed on its invisibility to naked eyes) and pulled himself through the tunnel of education in flying rags of collars (both lied about it saying it was ragas ♪ and colors). The effect of growing up however dizzying was rather satisfying for he had (rather thought he had) a purpose in life and anticipated his first interview in sheer glee (not without a bit of nervousness) for the position of yet another Devil's Advocate. The City lately had an explosion of factories because the other Cities but also ployed to keep themselves green as possible as the underground movement put it or were not only benevolent enough to let us progress as the upper-ground movement put it. The specialty he chose to master himself in had in it all the tools that could shape a morally uptight world to a morally upright one, or so he thought (meaning only well).

He applied Steam Cel on his trimmed hair, Stun You on his face; wore Shoot Me for a shirt, Smiley for a toy that ran from his neck to his incomplete belly, Pull Me for a trouser, Stamp Me for shoes (the rest they won't tell even if they knew). Thus attired, he was all too composed for the impending interview. He had a short videoconference against his jubilant parents (he lived a little away to be close to them) during the full ten minutes of which they wished him well to an extent he had a feeling of having bathed deep in a Wish Well and near the end of it his father was all misty-eyed and mother smiles and pride. Between his ride from his abode to the Interview Chamber, on his roller-skater two ends attached to a remote-controlled Tie Car and one from there to him, is the only time to mention that Right was like a girl when comes to commitment in that he thought a girl would keep him from his climbing the ladder of profession though everyone around was quitting jobs and dropping out of college to wed. He had a way of his own in acknowledging status quo; he said it is pop vulture (certainly not meaning well).

He placed his vehicle in the locker and approached the entrance and for whatever the reason exposed his right eye to the scanner on the side instead of- The door alarm triggered through this action of his won't stop itself from blaring which brought the security to his toes who before a blink shot the Truth Serum into Right's right leg that provoked Right to scream in half agony my right pinkie after which the man in the uniform apologized and retreated to his seat. This behavior of his need not be all that surprising because there was another instance, perhaps at an auditorium entrance, where he tried it with his middle finger (he's only too ex-peri-mental) and began telling mysterious facts about his associates Tops and Turve (mostly upon their own provocation) for which they almost booked him under perjury and soon he began contradicting his own statements. Right now having gained his faculties, it takes only thirty seconds and a shout, came to the scanner and exposed his little finger which for obvious reasons looked like crowbar-proofed, and it was, except for its prints (the Finger Snatchers were growing in number) and tightened his toy and let himself through the door. The Chamber is in the eleventh floor and it's the twelfth on the right, Sir said the receptionist whose joystick-converted fingers quivered as she pointed to the elevator.

He found himself in front of the interviewer who it seemed to have lived half his century inside a machine, his humanly manners notwithstanding. The mosquito that couldn't sleep the day, Right later referred to it as that little vampire, came out of nowhere (for Right) and out of boredom (for the fly) as he began to say good noon, bit him on the side of his forehead so he stopped at goo and scratched his forehead which to the big man opposite looked like a salute that startled him out of his wits but that was only a moment for Right gathered himself back in no time and brought his hands together and made a namaste and completed his wishing to which the man acknowledged it with a good noon and be seated. The little vampire in question annoyed by its denial of space not wanting to lose hope flew a half circle and found a similar spot on the man's and this time around he startled himself with his own repetition of a witnessed action which put Right at ease at once. You may brief me about yourself, young man began the interviewer. What he replied to this query isn't of primary importance. The reader knows, in the absent record of what he did say, what s/he he/shelf would say in such a situation and what he didn't say was whatever can be said from the aforementioned (the serum wears off in five minutes).

The interviewer who is appointed by the City Council – though he held this post beyond his retirement age, he looked young when he swallowed a particular fish every morning – was a reasonable man with respect to intellect and manners and looked affirmative to Right on his briefing. You have an extraordinary portfolio too he said perusing through his ourPapers. Let's get to the rest, mister, he said, the one question you must answer with a pride of having invented the very question, argue the pros of swordfish serum production in an effort to enhance the thrill of underwater human chase games. Hearing the challenge, rather the twist of it, had Right on the edge of his sanity (he was sane only when it's least expected). Had he heard it in a non-air-conditioned Chamber, he would have bathed himself in sweat. Here it only shook his guts off and put him in a suspended sacrificial altar with his head on it and neck below hung down. Hell of a way to ask an un-question and what is it but conning of the con he thought but brought himself to argue it as originally as he can and added yet it may be a nonstarter to ensure he isn't given a go at it. Though he halfheartedly apologized for his pessimism toward the end of it all, as he wished, the big man gave him a fairly done but negative. When I go out the sky must be down and the land up he thought.

On his way back to his place, he saw the same beggar on a roller to whom he didn't pay any attention to at the time. He paused by and gave him his vRead thinking he may not read but he can sell it for a few bucks and eat a few mouthfuls but contrary to Right's assertion this man read a few stories from it before selling it and began telling them to fellow souls and it turned out one day as Right was halted by a little red man as zebras crossed a boy holding a little girl on his shoulder asked a few bucks for a story which he would later refer to as some revival of folktales. It seems early to shed light on the turning of a table but what happened that puzzled Right to the end of his ride back happened at a period he was most ignorant of the status quo. He learned all that he ever needed to learn, he thought, in his very first year to a degree he felt the second year to be a boredom and third year he was either found missing or writing his Treatise Concerning Wordfares. It took him the long ride back home to realize that the world began spinning in the opposite direction when he took that extra nap of his life, and found that he arrived at his parent's instead of his and rode at once to his not prepared to face them yet. He became so ashamed of himself, it showed, he began riding on the pedestrian platform absent-mindedly.

Right pushed his 12-wheeler into his backpack, too much road skiing can be weary, and began walking the last mile for want of a little warmup and fresh air. Upon his arrival, he saw what looked like two bullies trying to break and enter into his place and Right had a smile on his face when he realized it was Tops and Turve. Turve who is a cop was demonstrating to Tops who is a lawyer how impossible in practice the burglary in the neighborhood last week was and why it was only possible the landlord feigned it. Although Right smiled it soon became obvious to them there was something sad about it. Turve said I see a disastrous Chamber visit and Tops said I see a scratched mosquito bite. They sat on the portico railing as Right narrated the events and where his arrogance is bliss attitude got him. The world never ran the same, said Tops, it has and always had a funny good weirdness to it and now it's all down to questions unasked. I may have a solution, said Turve, think it through, it seems you can run for the God's Advocate now with the same expertise. Right felt a candle light up in his head and the breeze that blew the leaves around made that light in his head glow brighter.


"You know the rules, don't you? When you walk into a place you're bound by its own limits. I would be in your place in times to come, but for now you're in mine," he spoke as she parked herself on the couch right opposite him studying his unkempt locks then switching between his eyes and lips for traces of lies, if any, and truths in them. The wooden dial on its mount struck six and kept going.
"I fancy the rules you mean are unilateral. They are, aren't they? I give them a cold unwelcome. Would you like some coffee?," she spoke back and began striding toward the kitchen before he could say "I am to make it" and could only watch her balanced moves and admire her curvy aesthetics thinking so much of overweight is pretty healthy. The kettle clanked and opened its mouth for another cold-to-hot delight.

The windowpane was glad to be of aid. Looking through it she saw an avenue, an unlit lamppost, leaves dancing around it, and two skinny boys. They looked like they were twins. It also looked they were either hit just recently by puberty or will be anytime. The signboard hung on the lamppost that read Do Not Hoist your Bicycles or Other Stolen Goods had their notice briefly. They weren't peeking through the window it seemed but their eyes were prying around the house for certain. One will speak and the other will burst into laughter.
Do ye know why trees haf roots? So that they don't hafta wear de boots? It's not de socks eider! It's coz we won't ask dem to go away.
I thought it was...hahaha...fer de Sunde school teacher!
Hah...hah...hah...der can be too many reasons! I'm visitin' Jolly's morrow; wat bot you?
Tell me the nicest Ms. Lilly is, am too.

"They are Top and Turv. They look like twins but aren't. They hung giant chimes around the house exterior last week for a loud fun. It makes me wonder what they have in store for me this time around," he said back and forthing the kitchen length.
"Anything they have and bring about you will be all deserving of it. How I wish they burn the door down!," she playfully provoked him as she tried to break his to and fro and embrace him but couldn't so left an "ahem" and stirred the coffee.
How do you make the best coffee I ever did drink?
It doesn't take more than, say...a little sugar, the right proportion, and a lot of love.

"What do you see that I don't
Don't you say it
What do I see that you don't
Don't you ask it," he read from his mind's book, "that's something I read awhile back. It scared the bejesus outta me. It calls forth two-way secrecy."
"I take it as a cry for balance – you decipher something, the other person something else out of it, know what I mean? – and personal space: the give and take of it," she explained her understating of it and, "now you know, if you weren't knowing, that what you think isn't always what is." She arose from her couch to the one he sat on and sat beside him on the right-hand side sipping what was left of the cup. He finished his and instead of leaving the cup on the desk seated he arose from the couch, left it on the desk, and came and sat on the right-hand side. She finished hers, did as he did, came and sat on the right-hand side. She playfully pushed him with his shoulders imitating the sound of springs in friction to which he giggled and played along momentarily pretending to stiffen his posture.

On the street, Top and Turv had their backpacks loosed and assured each other what was to be brought is brought.
What about the rest?
You mean the crane and all?
Obviously, how did you arrange it?
As it should be! Jamal's cus is on them.
What did you bribe him with?
The two Labrador pups we stole from Dipu's backyard, what else!
The truck with the other stuff too, right?
Sure as hell!

Inside, the blinds were on and yet if you stood in there you could see a quiet snowball, a tiny aquarium with two fishes chasing each other, and before other things you turn back you see them on each other in a certain position; you switch to observing other things and see again they are in another position cuddling and moaning beside other things, and then you are back to other things. It will take time, certain things do, and this of all things must.
You have the greatest of grace and I mean it.
For once can you stop saying the same thing every single time? By the way, did you hear the strange noise around while we were at it?
You heard too? Must have been our guardian angels!
I need a drink.
She released herself from his arms and took steps toward the fridge...and let out a scream. Before the scream was a commotion, a movement inside the house through the window, something entered and exited through the other window. By the time he came to his senses she learned that it was a log.
It must be those little rascals. If I were a butcher I would skin them alive!
Sounds like the best thing ever happened to you! The shape your place is in...!
Here we're caught up in a conundrum and the answer is not me but you.
You mean if you could move into my place for awhile?
What else could I possibly mean?
Then, you know, tsk, the rules, don't you?
Is this the part I say I feel déjà vu!
The wooden dial struck twelve as he picked his stuff up and made a messy baggage out of it.

One thing we forgot, how could we have?
What would that be?
A signboard that read House of Love. What you think?
I think this much is self-explanatory enough...but if we must, first thing in the morning.
Hope so.
Top and Turv from a distance seemed pleased. Through binoculars the house, having the ashoka trees at each side pulled and tied to the roof, the stolen logs placed, and the one log through the windows with a sharp end painted in red in such a way, looked precisely a heart with an arrow through it.


Why This and Not That!

This is by and large to hone so use-less a skill - narratives, dialogues, and all that falls between...